Saturday, August 24, 2013

Learning to say Good Bye (cancer sucks!)

Kai will be 4 on Monday. She's growing up so fast. She is learning to ride her big wheel, she can finally walk the dog with him tipping her over.
She starts 4K end of next month.
I love everything new she is discovering and doing but I wish there were somethings I could protect her from as well.

She is a very blessed little girl. She has Grandparents and Great Grandparents that love her very much.
I only had one Great Grandma growing up and she passed away when I was 5. I hardly knew her. Her mind had left long before I was born and she lived in KY while we were in WI.

Unfortunately she has already encountered Death a couple times but she was too little to understand what was going on or why everyone was sad.
My closest cousin passed away from Uterine Cancer that spread to her kidneys and liver last October and Kai's God Father's dad passed away last August from Pneumonia.

I know she is understanding better about death and loss with the recent miscarriage but that isn't going to help with whats around the corner.

My paternal Grandfather is dying from brain cancer.
He almost beat it once but it returned to an inoperable location and I think his body is just wore out. He is 88 years old.

This is my favorite picture of them. Kai is 1. I took this right after his diagnoses.

He is rapidly getting worse. He is almost completely blind and deaf. He was hard of hearing already but now he can't really hear even with his hearing aids.
From what I've been told he's lost a lot of weight and is constantly cold. He told my Dad the last time they talked that he feels he doesn't have much time left.
Kai loves her Great Grandpa and I have no idea how to tell her what is going on. She caught me crying the other day and I told her my heart was sad because Great Grandpa is really sick. She seemed to understand that. It broke my heart how sad she looked as she told HB that her Great Grandfather was really sick.
She thinks he's going to get better though.

I hate this. I hate watching him waste away from the strong man that he was.
I am so proud of him. He is a WWII vet that fought in Normandy. He beat Prostate cancer! He made it through losing my Grandma to Stomach cancer.
I really really f*cking HATE cancer.

How did you explain it to your kids when they lost a close family  member?
Any advice is welcome and would be really helpful.

You're doing what?! O.o

Kai talks non stop about EVERYTHING. 

Lately she has felt the need to give a step by step narrative of what she is doing.
I enjoy talking to her don't get me wrong but I do not need a narrative of her trip to the bathroom yelled across our apartment.
Maybe if she sounded like Morgan Freeman but I doubt it hahaha

I'm sure this is a typical little kid thing and I'm getting better at not being embarrassed by her announcements.
Every store we go in she has to use the potty even if she just peed 10 minutes before at home she has to go pee.
I know where every bathroom in every store in our city is. I thought it was bad when I was pregnant but I don't have anything on Kai.
So we leave HB or my Mom with cart wherever we are and we run to bathroom for her to tinkle 4 drops in the potty.
Then we track them back down so she can loudly announce to the entire section of the store that "She peed in the Potty!!!"
Thankfully  98% of the time the people around laugh, tell her good job and go on their way. The other 2% curmudgeons grumble under their breath something about kids being quiet which gets them the Mommy Death Glare and they hurriedly leave the aisle.

The other day as we were carrying groceries upstairs she was lagging behind playing with a defunct light switch (Dad keeps saying he'll fix it for the last 6 months)
HB unlocking the door "Kai what are you doing?"
Kai "Oh nothing... Just dicking around."
Me "You're doing what?!" O.o
Kai "Just dicking around but I'm done now!"
HB almost fell down the stairs laughing.
Me "Riiight I need to talk to Grandpop about he's been saying around you"

HB works 3rd shift on the weekends at a local Brewery doing security so during the afternoon on Friday and Saturday he sleeps while we play outside or go visit my parents. I'm lucky they live so close.
Today as we're leaving to go to my Dad's Kai doing her bed time routine with Charlie which is a Hug, Kiss, Squeeze and Snuggle (Eskimo kiss)
She has started saying the whole "Sleep tight! Don't let the bed bugs bite" So cute is her tiny voice.
Well today she did all that and then looked at HB very seriously and said...
"Remember the Rule #1 Daddy. The bed bugs won't eat you! They'll just bite a little."
She then turned around and slid down our stairs on her butt.
HB looks at me "Wth? Where did she learn that?"
Me trying to not laugh "I have no idea! But its funny bahahaha"

I'm sure I'll have more to share later on though it probably be more like I can't believe I just had to say that!

What is some ridiculously cute things your LO's have said to you?