Thursday, August 29, 2013

Red Light Green Light (sexual content)

Seemed like for the longest time we were being told to wait...
Wait for the bleeding to stop (which is a no brainer)...
Wait till you come in...
Wait till your blood work next week...
Wait for your results...

Now we have to all clear to "try" for another baby.
I want to wait till after I have a period just make sure my body has "reset" itself.
HB found an article about where my immune system might have caused the miscarriage by attacking the baby because it didn't recognize his cells.
So he thinks we need to "practice" a lot lol
Now I don't swallow.
I've just gotten comfortable giving him Oral at all.
HB wants me to try swallowing as another way to build up my system to his cells. (I accused him of just trying a new angle lol)
Its an intriguing idea and looking at it from a scientific angle I figure its worth a shot.
I am worried I will completely geek out and either get grossed out and spit all over him or that I will puke in his lap O.o

I'm nervous about trying for another baby. I'm scared of going through another miscarriage.
I know I want another baby. There is a hole in my heart that I know isn't going to go away until we have another baby.
I've wrapped myself up as much as I can in Kai but its not the same. I feel like my heart expanded ready to love another child and now my arms are empty.
HB shares worries but he agrees if we don't start right away I'll lose my nerve.

Well fingers crossed and prayers for sticky dust :)