Monday, November 25, 2013

Helping with Loss and Depression (HB's first post)

Hello everyone, Kai's Dad here, for those of you that don't know me my name is Charles. I'm going to apologize right now that my first post is going to be a bit on the depressing side.

Now I've always been pretty pessimistic but the other day it reached a new low. When I got the message at work that Kai had woken up from coughing so hard she threw up and was having a hard time breathing my very first thought, even before I could consciously think about it, was that the doctor had missed something the last time we took her in and it was something fatal. The thought was so powerful and overwhelming (and completely irrational) that I almost started crying at work.

Now as screwed up as I may be for instantly going to the darkest thought imaginable, it got me thinking, why in the heck would me mind do that to me?

My response to that is this; contrary to popular beliefs, time does not heal all wounds. I'm not talking about physical wounds, though anyone with a serious injury can tell you some effects will remain no I'm talking about emotional wounds, the kind that many people face everyday at the loss of a loved one, close friend, etc. Neither me or Kat are strangers to tragedy, with probably about a dozen or so people close to us that have been taken away whether it's because of accidents, illness, or suicide (Don't get me started on suicide.)

People that have truly touched our lives leave an imprint that never goes away. In my experience the hardest part about losing someone is finally accepting that they are gone forever, that you can't just pick up the phone and hear their voice, or go online and write them a message is devastating. After that, things get easier because you know they're gone, but that doesn't mean the pain goes with it. To this day there are days where I get sad and miss my dad even though he's been gone almost twenty years now, or my brother who killed himself over ten years ago and the pain is as fresh to me now as it was all those years ago, and the only thing that's changed is how I cope with the pain.

One last thing I'd like to say before I end this post is that grief and depression are a terrible burden that so often times can seem to be unbearable. I encourage everyone reading this that are going through some kind of pain or loss to reach out to those close to you to help ease the burden, there is always someone that cares about you, even if it seems like there isn't and you feel nobody else will understand, then message us here at The Why of Kai because we understand and sometimes all it takes is a chance to vent to someone. Finally, if someone reaches out to you please don't just turn them away or downplay their feelings, be supportive and do what you can to help; you never know when your kindness could save a person's life.

Now since I don't want to end on a completely depressing note, I will allow you all to determine what my next post will be. I can do a post related to gaming (We currently own a PS3, XBox 360, PC, Wii, Nintendo DS.) Or I can tell a story from my past or present so you all can get to know me a little better. Post a comment or message us with what you would prefer, otherwise I'll just post something at random.

Thanks for reading.