Holy hormones... Good Bye BC (Adventures in Family Planning)

This would save us a lot of headaches. We should be funding this!

Waaay back in the day BK (before Kai) I was on the Depo shot for 4 years. I gained a bunch of weight but I dealt with it.
Well then my engagement ended and I swore off men so I went off of it.
2 years later when I decided to start dating again @ age 20 I wanted to be safe and double covered so I got on the Nuva Ring for BC.
I had no problems with it and it worked great.

Then I met HB and we decided to have a baby. Good Bye Nuva Ring! 1 month later BAM we were pregnant.
Since I got pregnant so fast I wanted to get back on BC as soon as I could after Kai was born.
The midwives said my only options were an IUD or The Shot. I was/still am terrified of an IUD so I opted for the shot since I had experience with it.
BOY was I wrong! I had no clue that having a baby could change how you reacted things.
The Shot turned me into a complete basket case. I couldn't control my emotions, I had violent mood swings and crying jags. Plus I gained 20 lbs in 2 months even though I had no appetite and was breast feeding.
HB sat me down and told me we HAD to figure out something else because I was acting INSANE.
We decided that maybe I should give my body a break and go off all BC.

So I did just that and I felt GREAT. It was amazing the change. I went to our local Planned Parenthood and got a diaphragm to try.
Boy was that awkward. The Dr there had only trained on them but had never actually fitted someone for one lmao.
It is a very interesting method of BC which works ok though it feels weird walking around with it in.
So we did used that and paired it with NFP where I track my cycles and temps.
I'm still super fertile though since it was only one slip up that got me pregnant last summer.

When I went in for my physical I decided that maybe I should try The Ring again just till the wedding.
Omigawd was that a mistake. I made it 2 weeks with the BC in before I was ready to take it out and set it on fire.
I was a raving bitch. My temper control was non existent and everything set me off.
2 days after taking the Ring out I was back to normal almost.
I did a bunch of reading on the Nuva Ring and discovered that what happened with me is listed at the very bottom under the heading Rare Side Effects.

Anyone else go through this at all? I'm just going back to NFP and am swearing off hormonal BC
What methods have worked for you?
 

No one should feel alone. (miscarriage related)

Yesterday I went to see the local midwives for the first time since the miscarriage last summer. I needed to get a physical and I do love seeing them. 
I had mentally prepared myself I thought for anything. 
I was very wrong. I had not prepared myself at all for when the midwife walked in and took my hand and she said "I'm so sorry for what you've been going through"
I never thought a single sentence could reduce me to tears so fast.
I started crying and couldn't stop.
She held my hand and talked to me about everything I was feeling.
I apologized for crying and she just smiled and told me I didn't have to apologize for still grieving what could have been.
She told me how a recent study says that it can take over a year for a mother to stop grieving a loss.
She talked about how the women surveyed said they weren't just grieving the lost baby but also all of the milestones that went with from the due date to the first day of kindergarten.
Its true. I thought I was mourning those because we have Kai so we know the milestones but turns out I'm not alone or crazy for those thoughts.

I cried last month when what should have been our due date passed but I thought I was doing better.
HB has let me cry all I want but I get so tired of hurting, of being sad, of having a hole in heart that won't close.
I have cried more times since July then I care to admit and HB has held me through them all.
Sometimes I can't help it and the pain comes out of no where and takes me out.

No one ever talks about how long the pain lasts or how they get through it.
Everyone acts like once its over that's it you should pick up and move on even though your heart is breaking every day.
I have a new respect for other women that have gone through this because it takes a lot of strength to ignore the hole in your chest and act like nothing is bothering you until you get behind closed doors.
I hadn't realized till yesterday how alone I felt in my grief.
Its not something I want or try to talk about but I am putting this out there because no one should feel alone.

HB's Review of the XCOM game series

Hey everybody Charles here again, this time to give a little review of a game series I've been getting into lately on the PS3.
For those that don't know what it is, the XCOM series of games are a turn-based, squad-based tactical RPG that is about an alien invasion of Earth and you play the role of a commander in the fight for survival.
The games in the series are XCOM: Enemy Unknown, XCOM: Enemy Within, and The Bureau: XCOM Declassified.
Chronologically, the games begin with The Bureau which takes place in the 1960's while the next is Enemy Unknown taking place during modern times, and Enemy Within being a stand alone expansion of Enemy Unknown, which means that the people in these games have basically been fighting the invasion for more than 50 years!
Unfortunately, the games do not follow each other in this manner, with each game consisting of a separate and unrelated invasion, so nothing that is accomplished in The Bureau effects the other games, not does anything from the other two effect each other or The Bureau. Since each one will be kind of long I will break them into a series of posts, one for each game I discuss.

I will start with XCOM: Enemy Unknown, since that was the first for the three that I played. You start out as the leader of a squad investigating the disappearance of a recon team that was in turn investigating some kind of attack in Germany.  As you move your squad through the city towards the recon teams last known location, you see signs of battle, as well as some very gruesomely mutilated civilians, and upon reaching the warehouse where the signal was lost, you find the last living member of the recon team and he is being MIND CONTROLLED BY ALIENS, ARGHERJEH;shgadf!!!
Um, OK it's not really that dramatic but you get the point.
After the tutorial mission that was just completed you select where you want you main base of operations to be, your choices are North America, Europe, and Asia and each one comes with its own bonus.
Now that you've selected your base, you are now in charge of the global resistance, answering only to the mysterious Council that occasionally provides you with additional funding and engineers and scientists. In addition to your main base, you are responsible for several small satellite bases that you need to arm with fighter jets, and later your own reverse-engineered UFO's to shoot down enemy aircraft, because if you don't they will spread panic and shoot down your communication satellites.
There is some resource management required in your mission to save humanity which are; money (used to buy weapons, aircraft, and research new tech), weapon and component parts (used to research and build new tech), power (which is used to provide electricity to your buildings), there are a limited number of building slots available (which you use to build laboratories, workshops, satellite control centers, power plants, and some others), and lastly global panic ( the Council and XCOM are attempting to limit how much the general populous knows about the invasion, which you control by launching communications satellites and successfully completing missions, if a regions' panic level gets too high, that region will lose faith in XCOM and remove themselves from the council, which will result in lower funding, longer research and build times due to fewer scientists/engineers.)
You can also recruit additional soldiers which upon achieving their first level up will randomly choose one of four classes each with it's own abilities; Heavy Weapons (primary special: Rocket Launcher), Sniper (Primary Special: Headshot), Medic (Primary Special: Smoke screen) and Assault (Primary Special: Extra move.) Each class unlocks additional skills as they level up which if used properly can make a pretty unstoppable squad, especially the Medic that can earn a skill that allows for bringing additional medpaks. It's important that I mention here how vital medics and medpaks are to the game. They become the most important teammates and piece of gear, especially in later levels because while wounded troops only have to sit out of combat for a few days, if anyone dies in the field, they are gone for ever which is really frustrating when you lose a high level squaddie and don't have a proper replacement trained. 
Now I detail the gear you can use: all your troops start out with standard military equipment, Kevlar armor, basic armaments that differs based on unit type, Heavy weapons uses light machine guns, assault uses assault rifles or shot guns, sniper uses sniper rifles, and medics use assault rifles, and each one can carry a side arm and two additional pieces of gear such as grenades or medpaks. As you progress through the game, you get the chance to research higher tech equipment, such as laser or plasma guns, plasma grenades, tank drones that take the place of living team members, and more advanced armor which in addition to providing some damage reduction also add a bonus to max health, some of which has cloaking technology that makes your troops temporarily invisible or jet packs that grant momentary flight. Additionally, you get to upgrade you fighter craft with more advanced weapons systems, targeting systems, and evasion systems, up to turning the enemy UFO tech against them as I mentioned earlier.The last addition to your arsenal that you can unlock are psionic powers that your scientists are a latent ability in many humans, and by using some alien tech those abilities can be unlocked. A couple abilities that you can unlock are telekinesis and mind control, so you can turn enemies into allies for a short duration.

Well I think that is all for now, and it gives you a good idea of what you'll experience if you decide to play this game for yourself. I could go on a little more, but since this is only a review and not a walk through this is about all I can say without providing any spoilers, even just little ones. I will be writing another on The Bureau here shortly since it is the only game of the remaining two that is really different from this one.

Food Glorious FOOD!

The ahhh-mazing French Toast

So the past couple days I have been all about food.

Today my Dad made one of my favorite dishes FRENCH TOAST.
Oh my gawd YUM.
He makes the BEST french toast. Its amazing. Its delicious, moist and glorious (((swoons)))

With the french toast I love not just the food but also the memories attached to those meals from when I was little.
Those meals were always fun and happy where as much of my childhood memories are dark and sad.
My Dad would make french toast whenever. Breakfast, Brunch or Dinner he'd make it.
When I was younger meal time had a tendency to be quiet, strained or my parents would be out right fighting through out the meal.
But when Dad made french toast things were nice and fun. No bickering, arguing or snide remarks. Plus he was always sober when he made french toast.
 Now I love it when he makes french toast because we have fun laughing in the kitchen as he cooks and I steal pieces of bacon while Kai and HB play in the living room.
Even after the meal is over we sit in the kitchen and talk.

Then earlier this past week I tried out a new crock pot recipe that was amazing and made enough to feed the 3 of us plus both of my parents!
This recipe was so simple and easy to follow it has made me think I can cook anything lol
I found this awesome recipe on Pinterest. Its from The Crock Pot Ladies.

Potato and Kielbasa Chowder

Ingredients~1 Medium Onion (chopped)
~1 clove of Garlic (minced)
~1 (32 oz) Carton of Chicken Broth
~6-8 medium Potatoes (chopped)
~2 cups Frozen Corn
~1 (16 oz) Fully cooked Kielbasa. (I used Hillshire Farms brand)
~1 Bay Leaf (Note: If you do not have any Bay Leaves you can use an additional 1/4 tsp of Thyme to replace it)
~1/2 tsp of Thyme
~1/2 tsp Fresh Ground Black Pepper
~8 oz shredded Sharp Cheddar Cheese (1 block of cheese)
~1 cup (8 oz) Heavy Whipping Cream

Instructions~In a 6 Quart Crock Pot combine all ingredients EXCEPT the Cheese and Cream
~Stir Well to combine
~Cover and cook on Low for 8-10 hours or 5-6 on High. (Until Potatoes are Tender. Remove Bay Leaf if used)
~Add Shredded Cheese and Cream. Stir well to combine and melt Cheese.

Made 8-9 servings.

Feeling Slightly Blind

So I found out Friday that I am nearsighted.
I knew something was up when I started being unable to see the small print for the weather warnings if I was more then 4 ft from the TV and I couldn't read the tiny print on some of the video games I play.
I also noticed that if I was playing like a first person shooter game I would get a headache pretty fast and motion sick which I never used to.

I kinda figured I was going to need at least reading glasses.

So I scheduled my first eye appointment (ever).
HB still couldn't believe I had never gone to an Optometrist before. I always had perfect eye sight before and my parents never took me.

I had no idea they did so much! The glaucoma test was pretty crazy with those puffs of air right into your eye.

I had no idea that my vision was as bad as it is until they put that giant thing with the adjustable lenses on me.
The Dr flipped one switch and holy COW everything was so much more defined! I could see without squinting!

I have to wait 2 weeks before my glasses will be in and boy am I feeling blind right now.
Its going to be weird wearing them but I'm ok with it. I don't view as I'm getting old at all.
read a TON and I draw a lot and doing Henna involves some very tiny details.
I know I've given my eyes a lot of work and for not needing glasses 27 years isn't too bad.

Mad Moxxi and The Wedding Day Massacre (review)

So a couple weeks ago when it came out around Valentines Day HB downloaded the latest DLC for Borderlands 2 for us to play together.

Mad Moxxi and The Wedding Day Massacre.

First off I have to admit that I love Mad Moxxi. I think she is a hilarious character with a pretty unique outfit. I love the attitude they gave her and how she seems to have her finger in every pie. Her sexual slip ups are pretty funny too.

This DLC was pretty short honestly compared to the others like Bunkers and Bad Asses but I still enjoyed it.

The fact the she is related one of the red neck clans is pretty funny on its own and that she thinks a love match will fix it is ridiculous.
The Bride and Groom are 2 Goliath one from the Hodunk's and the other a Zaford.
Moxxi has you run around gathering Love Potion ingredients including a Goliath Baby lol
That was interesting.
HB discovered on accident that the holes in the Mountains are actually Leprechaun holes!
He was grabbing ammo when a little cursing Leprechaun came bolting out. Those little things are fast!

There is one part that we haven't finished yet which is the different elemental Threshers.

You spike the wedding punch with the love potion and then the Goliath bride and groom decide to kiss. They take off their helmets and their creepy little heads kiss THEN they immediately start Raging.
The first time around it went fairly easy but we discovered if you go back you can fight them a 2nd time!
This time if you don't kill them close enough together they can revive each other!
And each time they do they LEVEL up! When we finally managed to kill them they had each reached God-liath.

All in all not a bad addition to the awesomeness that is Borderlands 2. 

Omigawd! (sexting gone wrong) swearing

So I know people are pretty divided on "sexting" some do it, others are against it; sometimes for a good reason.

HB and I sext because we rarely get any alone time unless we're going to bed and then 2 nights out of 7 I'm going to be alone.

SO we sext. I think it helps build the anticipation for when we actually get time to be intimate. Plus its kinda fun ;)

Anyways here is my story of sexting gone wrong that could have gone way worse then it did.

This evening like many Sundays we went to my Dad's for a family dinner.
Afterwards I was chilling in the kitchen talking to my Dad while HB and Kai were playing around in the living room watching TV.
HB has tonight off and not much homework so I seized the opportunity to send HB a naughty text.
I have a pic on my phone of me giving HB head.
I thought I would send it to HB with a winky emoji saying "tonight"

Well I forgot the last person I had texted was my Dad.  O.o
(you can tell where this is going)

Oh my gawd ya'll I sent the picture to my DAD!
I would swear on a stack of bibles I had switched it to HB's name but NOOPE
it said "Sending to ICE DAD" Fuuuuuucking hell

I immediately panicked but tried to hide it from my parents. Because I knew if they asked what was up I was going to start laughing hysterically and tell them. I suck hard core at lying or keeping anything from my parents.

I snatched up my Dad's phone without thinking.
He's like what are you doing with my phone? I don't grab yours.

The first thing I could think of was to tell him "OH I accidentally sent you an emoji meant for Moua (my bestie). You don't have a smart phone so I wanted to see if it would show up"

Thank sweet baby jeebus that he is slightly cell phone inept and he believed me. That text came and oh Christ on a Cracker you could see EVERY detail.
I immediately deleted every trace of that picture and stopped sweating.

That probably would have been one of the most AWKWARD moments of my life!