Sex-dar Oy

Before we had Kai I thought my friends that already had kids were exaggerating about how having kids made having a sex life harder.
I thought they meant like with the sleep deprivation or laundry or something little.

OMG I had no idea that they meant Sex radar!!
Sweet Jesus Christ on a Cracker since Kai was hatched she seems to know the exact minute we're planning on getting frisky.
From the beginning she slept for 4 hours a pop but let us try to hook up and she'd wake up (she wasn't in the same room)

We started to feel like we were teenagers again lol
Then it started to get irritating to say the least. It felt like we weren't ever going to have sex again or even anything close to sex.
There for a little while I thought we were going to spontaneously combust if we ever got to more than kiss.

We finally ended up having sex in the basement while we did laundry! (she was with my Mother)
Took us 5 months to come up with that one because we were worried about our neighbors catching us.
Once she was a little older it got easier to find "us" time.
Thankfully she is a creature of habit and schedule so for a while we were actually planning our sex life which kinda took the fun out of it but it worked for then since HB worked 3rd shift.

Now that she's 4 it seems like her Sex-dar is super human.
The other day she went to my mom's house down the street to make cookies with Grandma so we decided to seize the moment and tie the true lovers knot.
We were in mid coitus and my phone rings! I chose to ignore it figuring I'd call back as soon as we finished. 5 seconds later HB's phone rings!
So we stop and he answers thinking something bad has happened...
NOPE just Kai wanting to know what we're doing and wanting us to come to Grandma's for fresh cookies O.o
HOW DID SHE KNOW!!!

HB calls her our "Chaos Factor" like a roll of the dice you never know what base we'll get to!

We know sex isn't everything but it is an important part of any relationship and I feel its important to have some sort of intimacy after having a baby. Especially when you're feeling unattractive, stretched out, and your lady bits or abdomen have been traumatized. Its not even just sex but touching and intimacy that is necessary.
I read so many women looking for help because their SO's have withdrawn, seem disinterested, or are even nervous around them. I think a goodly part of it is from the loss of intimacy.
One day I'll have HB share his take on it.
Does anyone have any fun stories like this to share? We can't be alone lol

Love no matter what (controversial)

So the other day HB, Kai and I went out to dinner at the local Red Robin (love their burgers)
We ended up with a very pretty waitress that was super friendly and great at her job.
She actually talked to Kai instead of over her. They talked about Princesses and Hello Kitty.
After she left with our orders Kai got all bashful when she walked past again and smiled at her.
HB and I both asked Kai what was up since she had been so talkative a few minutes earlier.
Kai sat there for a minute and then whispered "I want to marry that lady. She wants to marry me. She's so pretty."
She looked at me and HB while we started smiling at her.
HB spoke first "Ok but you can't marry her. Not because she's a girl but because you're 4! When you get older you can marry whoever you want and we'll love you no matter what."
I got teary eyed (damn hormones lol) and told her "We will support you in all your decisions and we'll always love you."
Kai got excited "Really! I can marry a lady!"
Us "Yes but not until you're older!"
Kai "Awwww ok"


I never thought we would be having this conversation with her at the age of 4. I'm amazed at how mature she sounded.
I know that things could change and that she might not like ladies later on or she could always like ladies.
Either way I am proud of us on how we handled it when we weren't prepared for it. It came so natural to respond how we did.

I cannot imagine disowning her over something like that.
We are Allies and proud of it. Everyone deserves the right to love.

Boom! Headshot!!!

 

 So I know I mentioned before that I am a Gaming Momma. I have been since my parents bought me the first Nintendo with Super Mario Bros for my birthday when I was 6.
I don't care for online gaming mainly because I don't have the time for it. I prefer Platforming or free range games.
I'm not a "Gamer Girl" ahem I'm a Girl Gamer.

I had no idea that I'm considered "rare" lol I've actually been called that!
My handful of friends played video games when we were in HS so I never thought about it.

Something that really irritates me both on FB and in other online forums is all these women bitching about their SO's gaming too much.
I am perfectly ok with HB gaming because at least I know where he is and he is never too busy  to push the "pause" button and help me with dinner or Kai.
More than once I have suggested to the women that are complaining that maybe they should try gaming with their SOs. Amazingly it has helped quite a few people I know.
Gaming together is  one of the things HB and I love to do together. Its a cheap (if you already own the game or rent it) easy, fun way to spend time together.
Sometimes one of our date nights is Kai going to my Dad's for a couple hours, we order a pizza and we shoot stuff together :)

I freaking LOVE GameStop! They have saved us so much money.
In case no one knows this you can trade in old games toward new ones so you don't have to pay full price for them PLUS if you join you get discounts on a bunch of stuff like being able to reserve games before everyone else and getting a discounted subscription to Game Informer magazine!

Any ways lol Right now we are checking out the latest DLC (downloadable content) for Borderlands 2.
OMG am I hooked on this game!
I have created 2 characters that rock Zero the Assassin and Maya the Siren. Holy fudge do they kick A$$. Maya is my favorite. I love her "Phase Lock" special move.
HB really like Axton the Commando and Gage the Mechomancer.

What games does everyone out there enjoy?
Any other gamer Mom's?

Puttin a Ring on it :)

Amongst all the craziness of life thats been happening to us lately I have also been trying to plan a wedding for 2 years!

We've been engaged since October 31st 2011. We originally planned on getting married the following year on October 20th.
We ended up having to postpone the wedding due to my closest cousin passing away from cancer. I just couldn't stand to get married near such a sad date. I wanted to be there for my family more.
Then we were suppose to get married this past July 6th but decided to postpone it due to my Grandpa having brain cancer, HB's Grandma (ny) having lymphoma and my Great Aunt (KY) having stage 3 breast cancer. All of of our out of state family both in NY and KY couldn't make it due to helping the out Grandma and Aunt. Which we understood and decided to wait until everyone can make it.

So its been hectic trying to plan a wedding around here lol
I'm so excited though because we are finally making progress!!!
We are finally getting married next October 4th :D

We have the venue booked, all the wedding party picked out and informed.
I am very anal and a touch OCD so I have written our entire ceremony and designed the RSVPs, invitations, programs, guest mad lib cards and our thank you cards.
I'm also going to be DIYing the wedding favors, possible the wedding party gifts too! Good thing we have a long winter up here lol
I have been going nuts over this great site that has loads of ideas called Offbeat Bride. I've also been going crazy finding amazing ideas on Pinterest.
I am a Pinterest addict!!
HB has limited me to trying one new recipe from there a week and I have to have a back up idea in case it doesn't turn out lol 

This is the super cute pic for our Thank You's

I can't wait to share all my projects as we get closer to the big day!!

Red Light Green Light (sexual content)

Seemed like for the longest time we were being told to wait...
Wait for the bleeding to stop (which is a no brainer)...
Wait till you come in...
Wait till your blood work next week...
Wait for your results...

Now we have to all clear to "try" for another baby.
I want to wait till after I have a period just make sure my body has "reset" itself.
HB found an article about where my immune system might have caused the miscarriage by attacking the baby because it didn't recognize his cells.
So he thinks we need to "practice" a lot lol
Now I don't swallow.
I've just gotten comfortable giving him Oral at all.
HB wants me to try swallowing as another way to build up my system to his cells. (I accused him of just trying a new angle lol)
Its an intriguing idea and looking at it from a scientific angle I figure its worth a shot.
I am worried I will completely geek out and either get grossed out and spit all over him or that I will puke in his lap O.o

I'm nervous about trying for another baby. I'm scared of going through another miscarriage.
I know I want another baby. There is a hole in my heart that I know isn't going to go away until we have another baby.
I've wrapped myself up as much as I can in Kai but its not the same. I feel like my heart expanded ready to love another child and now my arms are empty.
HB shares worries but he agrees if we don't start right away I'll lose my nerve.

Well fingers crossed and prayers for sticky dust :)

Learning to say Good Bye (cancer sucks!)

Kai will be 4 on Monday. She's growing up so fast. She is learning to ride her big wheel, she can finally walk the dog with him tipping her over.
She starts 4K end of next month.
I love everything new she is discovering and doing but I wish there were somethings I could protect her from as well.

She is a very blessed little girl. She has Grandparents and Great Grandparents that love her very much.
I only had one Great Grandma growing up and she passed away when I was 5. I hardly knew her. Her mind had left long before I was born and she lived in KY while we were in WI.

Unfortunately she has already encountered Death a couple times but she was too little to understand what was going on or why everyone was sad.
My closest cousin passed away from Uterine Cancer that spread to her kidneys and liver last October and Kai's God Father's dad passed away last August from Pneumonia.

I know she is understanding better about death and loss with the recent miscarriage but that isn't going to help with whats around the corner.

My paternal Grandfather is dying from brain cancer.
He almost beat it once but it returned to an inoperable location and I think his body is just wore out. He is 88 years old.

This is my favorite picture of them. Kai is 1. I took this right after his diagnoses.

He is rapidly getting worse. He is almost completely blind and deaf. He was hard of hearing already but now he can't really hear even with his hearing aids.
From what I've been told he's lost a lot of weight and is constantly cold. He told my Dad the last time they talked that he feels he doesn't have much time left.
Kai loves her Great Grandpa and I have no idea how to tell her what is going on. She caught me crying the other day and I told her my heart was sad because Great Grandpa is really sick. She seemed to understand that. It broke my heart how sad she looked as she told HB that her Great Grandfather was really sick.
She thinks he's going to get better though.

I hate this. I hate watching him waste away from the strong man that he was.
I am so proud of him. He is a WWII vet that fought in Normandy. He beat Prostate cancer! He made it through losing my Grandma to Stomach cancer.
I really really f*cking HATE cancer.
How did you explain it to your kids when they lost a close family  member?
Any advice is welcome and would be really helpful.

You're doing what?! O.o

Kai talks non stop about EVERYTHING. 
Lately she has felt the need to give a step by step narrative of what she is doing.
I enjoy talking to her don't get me wrong but I do not need a narrative of her trip to the bathroom yelled across our apartment.
Maybe if she sounded like Morgan Freeman but I doubt it hahaha

I'm sure this is a typical little kid thing and I'm getting better at not being embarrassed by her announcements.
Every store we go in she has to use the potty even if she just peed 10 minutes before at home she has to go pee.
I know where every bathroom in every store in our city is. I thought it was bad when I was pregnant but I don't have anything on Kai.
So we leave HB or my Mom with cart wherever we are and we run to bathroom for her to tinkle 4 drops in the potty.
Then we track them back down so she can loudly announce to the entire section of the store that "She peed in the Potty!!!"
Thankfully  98% of the time the people around laugh, tell her good job and go on their way. The other 2% curmudgeons grumble under their breath something about kids being quiet which gets them the Mommy Death Glare and they hurriedly leave the aisle.

The other day as we were carrying groceries upstairs she was lagging behind playing with a defunct light switch (Dad keeps saying he'll fix it for the last 6 months)
HB unlocking the door "Kai what are you doing?"
Kai "Oh nothing... Just dicking around."
Me "You're doing what?!" O.o
Kai "Just dicking around but I'm done now!"
HB almost fell down the stairs laughing.
Me "Riiight I need to talk to Grandpop about he's been saying around you"

HB works 3rd shift on the weekends at a local Brewery doing security so during the afternoon on Friday and Saturday he sleeps while we play outside or go visit my parents. I'm lucky they live so close.
Today as we're leaving to go to my Dad's Kai doing her bed time routine with Charlie which is a Hug, Kiss, Squeeze and Snuggle (Eskimo kiss)
She has started saying the whole "Sleep tight! Don't let the bed bugs bite" So cute is her tiny voice.
Well today she did all that and then looked at HB very seriously and said...
"Remember the Rule #1 Daddy. The bed bugs won't eat you! They'll just bite a little."
She then turned around and slid down our stairs on her butt.
HB looks at me "Wth? Where did she learn that?"
Me trying to not laugh "I have no idea! But its funny bahahaha"

I'm sure I'll have more to share later on though it probably be more like I can't believe I just had to say that!
What is some ridiculously cute things your LO's have said to you?